In honor of Late Sabitri Rani Dhar, succumbed to Lung Cancer
Late Sabitri Rani Dhar (In her Uniform)
Our humble Tribute to the beautiful soul on behalf of BCH Wing - Lung Cancer Hub.
Breast Cancer Hub would like to thank Debashree Purkayastha for sharing the story of her mother, Sabitri Rani Dhar, a fighter who never gave up. We are privileged to share the inspirational journey... Sabitri Dhar’s legacy contiues with Breast Cancer Hub wing - Lung Cancer Hub. Sabitri Dhar left us in 2010 when Debashree & her siblings were so young, their mother struggled from all spheres trying to give them a good life. Hats off to Debashree & her siblings for pulling their lives together from such young age without their mother & being so accomplished today. BCH is always with you & we cannot be more prouder of you today for speaking about your mother’s brave journey. Sabitri Rani Dhar - Our Hero!
Our heartfelt thank you,
Dr Lopamudra Das Roy, on behalf of BCH Family.
Mother’s journey in the words of the daughter - Debashree Purkayastha
(Story told by my Mother and What I saw and experienced)
“My Mother, I don’t know where to start. But, her death was not more than a huge loss to me. She was a good mother. She was a powerful woman. She’s not just a normal woman but different. She is my Ideal. She was a ANM staff by profession (Field Nurse under Medical Department). She was born in Gombira (a remote village) in Karimganj District, Assam, India. Her family consisted of her father and mother (my Grand parents), her elder sister and her elder brother. My grandparents and my maternal uncle, three of them died when my mother was still studying. Her elder sister was married at young age leaving her all alone by herself in a village where girls usually get married at or before 15years of age. Still she never gave up, rather she used to sell milk and other grains to carry on her daily wages and used to walk 3kms (approx) daily to Ramkrishnanagar College karimganj. She was one of the few girls from that village who completed graduation at that time. She was an all-rounder. She knew all the basics a girl should know maybe more than that. She was also a graduate in classical singing. She knew bamboo work, computer, cooking, knitting, had knowledge of edible and non-edible plants, expert in swimming, a good athlete, so daring that she never feared anyone even living in a big house all alone in such a backward village. She was loved by all the villagers. Later she joined Nursing training and within years she got posted. Her dream was to be a Doctor but due to no support and financial problem she skipped her dream. She got married in the year 1995 and hence I was born within a year. Later on, within 2002, she had three daughters and got so engrossed in her duty and responsibility towards us that she completely forgot her dream of being Doctor and even almost forgot to take good care of her health. Her struggle to provide us better education and good life let her physical and mental health deteriorate with days and years. Later in the year 2008, she got diagnosed with piles and within few months it turned from lump to blood bearing one. She never cared about it. Her daily routine was waking up at 4:00am and start cooking for us, then feeding younger sister and packing her lunch as her school bus used to arrive at 6:30am. Later she used to make breakfast for us (both sisters), father and our maternal brother (who used to stay with us for studying). In such hasty morning, she always left for her duty without breakfast almost daily. Her only stress reliever was our happiness and paan (a local Indian tobacco wrap with betel leaf and betel nut and some lime). She was totally addicted to paan that she used to have it like 10-12 times a day. On holidays, she used to work on behalf of gardener, household worker just to save little money. She never let us feel any less than princesses and less loved.
In the year 2009, she was diagnosed with having lungs full of water by a local hospital doctor (I can’t recall the name). She was told that this was because of excessive water absorption. She didn’t have to worry much and she would get better in months with medications. I believe now that this was one of the negligence of poor medical condition that very time. These words from Doctor made her neglect the symptoms which turned out worse in less than few months. She was told that she had lung cancer and she should visit Chennai Apollo Hospital to get proper treatment. Even she was told that she may be in 2nd stage of this and when she asked how much time she had left, she was told if her luck was good enough and she maintains her treatment properly, she could survive for approximately 10years. I don’t know how other family members felt about this news but it did shatter me in pieces. Specially the deadline. Father was of ill-hearted; he was so afraid to even name the word Cancer. He used to call it ‘borota’ (which means the extreme one, that means death). In fear, he never came close to her and hence my maternal brother, who was just 18years or so then accompanied her to Chennai. He took care of her there all the time, every little things. There she was diagnosed again and was confirmed that she did have lung cancer and she is in 3rd stage and was asked why being from medical background she delayed her treatment. In reply, she told that she was never told that she had it and even no one in our area ever talked about Cancer. It was a “Can’t happen type of disease” or rather “a solid Taboo considered with sin”. In the meantime, we were living with father here in Silchar and he already accepted the fact and started believing that our mother was no more and the treatment was rather useless waste of money. I was so mentally broken then especially when people came or visited us and talked such negative words about it. There, Dr. Ravi Kannan (Apollo Hospital Cancer specialist now in Silchar Cancer Hospital), told her to go back home and in few days he would be joining here and hence she could continue her chemotherapy there. She thought that if Ayurveda could treat her and hence she had consumed various ayurvedic medicines which made her feel good. But, that time there was so little knowledge of Cancer. She returned back after few months and here she was allotted a separate room by father (two rooms away from ours and his) because he used to believe that ‘Cancer is contagious’. We used to see her only in his absence. Our brother used to take care of her. She was so mentally depressed that still she never left having paan. She used to cry and was stressed out thinking about us a lot, about our education and life especially for me and the younger one. Because she dreamt of making me a Doctor and so many dreams she had planned with me. My younger sister was just 5/6 years old. She was not even aware of what was happening, she playfully used to roam here and there. In the year 2010, end of January her condition became so critical that she had to be admitted to Hospital and she became partially paralyzed. I was called by Doctor so my brother came to school to take me to hospital to see her lying on that bed, I was blank. I didn’t know how to react. I felt so broken inside seeing her as she was looking at me but she was smiling with tears in eyes. Doctor talked with me that my mother might survive only for two weeks only as her condition was turning worse with days and even she would be in coma in next weeks or so. I should be ready for that as only after my brother I was devasted yet aware of the dark days. And as Doctor told she stopped responding to chemotherapy as if the cancer cells were metastasizing so fast suddenly. Her reflexes shut down first then she stopped remembering everyone (even me, her beloved daughter), her house, stopped talking, eating hence she was fed with Nasal feeding tube attached directly to her abdomen. The last day, I couldn’t forget that was 10th February early morning her ‘Death rattle’ started and we never cared about our father and went to her room and I slept near her on her arms for the last time. My brother woke me up at 9:45am or so telling me its time she might leave us anytime. And that time somehow, she gained remembrance of us and pointed to call father but he never came and she saw us and took her last breath at 10:10am, 10th February, 2010. From that day I was so angry on everyone who never cared about her especially my father. I was so angry on people who considered “Cancer” with “drastic taboo”. I cried for two years and so depressed that I literally stopped living.
It took me years to understand the factors responsible to cancer, its genetic and morphological basis. How proto-oncogenic cell gets turned active as oncogenic one. The chances of having cancer, its severity and origin of malignancy. What is metastasis. How stem cells can help in treating some of the cancers and much more. Research is going on for sure but one thing is neglected in the process which Breast Cancer Hub (BCH) is putting forward. Most importantly, what from my experience I felt and learnt is mental support, the counseling to the patient who is going through this and the loved ones too. I repeat the pain a patient’s loved ones feel is as same as the patient. Cancer being a taboo, it kills not the patient only but the bonds and dreams of their loved ones too.”
#LungCancerHub #TogetherWeSaveLives #BreakTheCancerTaboo